Adjustments and Air Mattresses

Melanie and Danielle are not here anymore and I am going to have to get used to it.  This will be my home for the next 9 months or so.  My anxiety is high and the tears come so easily.  Why is this so much more difficult than Cambodia?  There, I had only one day of homesickness.  Here, it seems it will last forever.  I cannot let Kori see me sad because I am here to help her.  I go into my room and try to make it my own.  I buy hangers and attempt organizing my clothes I hang my father’s ashes on my door.  I convince myself that he will protect me from evil spirits.  I waste time stalking on Facebook and reigniting my Sabrina The Teenage Witch obsession.  I’ve yet to buy a mattress so I plan to use Kori’s airbed.  Shoving it down the hall, fully inflated, I am surprised nothing goes wrong.  It’s placed in my room.  Hmmm…. It needs more air.  I look at the black cap as if it were some being from another planet.  What is this monstrosity?  My ancestors, the apes, live strong within me and soon common sense makes an appearance.  I twist.  *CRACK!*  Fuck.  Air is pouring out and the more I try to mend it, the more it deflates.  I remember I still have some zebra print duct tape.  It doesn’t work.  Kori walks down the hallway and I explain I will be sleeping on the couch. 

That night, the stormy weather steals my sleep.  It is late and I listen as the wind howls and the rain pours.  Just as my eyes start to close, the back door creaks open.  GREAT!  THIS is how it will happen.  A murderous Amish farmer has come to steal my innards and fingernails.  I am going to die on a couch in Kentucky.  Shit, I didn’t delete my Internet history on my phone.  Hopefully people understand that I was looking up that stuff for research…  Two minutes pass and I have yet to be killed by the psycho Amish farmer.  I get up, shut the door and dead bolt it.  Not today, Mister…Not today. 

I dream Macklemore is cheating on me and Ryan Lewis is laughing at me.  I tell Ryan Lewis that he is slimy.  I say that he is the equivalent to Rob Lowe in “Wayne’s World.”  I’m proud of my comeback.  I awake, hating Ryan Lewis.  He’s useless on stage.  He’s like Ryan Seacrest’s old American Idol co-host.  I Google, “Ryan Lewis STDs.”  Hoping to find some real dirt.  

I sleep…again…